I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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