ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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