this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
