How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
