Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
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I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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