one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
NoShamevember. You game?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
