drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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