Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

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  (480): oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper. http://tfl.nu/sodt
  Replies (18) Good night (571) Bad night (1220)
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  (415): View more from California

  I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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  (415): I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone http://tfl.nu/hnp6
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (2648)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

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  (256): Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night. http://tfl.nu/gx6d
  Replies (17) Good night (3705) Bad night (1047)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1552) Bad night (3392)
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  (714): View more from California

  Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

  (562): View more from California

  You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

  (714): View more from California

  Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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  (714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/4mgl
  Replies (20) Good night (5206) Bad night (1379)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob

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  (330): We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob http://tfl.nu/gzh9
  Replies (25) Good night (4704) Bad night (1413)
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  (949): View more from California

  is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??

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  (949): is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute?? http://tfl.nu/snv5
  Replies (11) Good night (8027) Bad night (1041)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens

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  (606): Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens http://tfl.nu/90cr
  Replies (9) Good night (3696) Bad night (968)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.

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  (573): These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times. http://tfl.nu/8sq6
  Replies (2) Good night (1454) Bad night (395)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.

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  (509): No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry. http://tfl.nu/k8f0
  Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (1081)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

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  (772): You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer. http://tfl.nu/ehgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1855) Bad night (539)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1033) Bad night (578)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (346)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival

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  (504): Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird (504): Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival http://tfl.nu/ifc7
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like

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  (432): Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like http://tfl.nu/z3sn
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (206)

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