i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth