Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.

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(918): It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/5huo

Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (704)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

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(248): Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something! http://tfl.nu/qltt

Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (1809)
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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (1069) Bad night (5007)
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(905): View more from Toronto

it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors

(1-905): View more from Toronto

american apparel?

(905): View more from Toronto

try lime green

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(905): it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors (1-905): american apparel? (905): try lime green http://tfl.nu/6mw7

Replies (54) Good night (4318) Bad night (768)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?

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(570): do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless? http://tfl.nu/2m3m

Replies (10) Good night (5184) Bad night (829)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life

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(405): so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life http://tfl.nu/i5i3

Replies (13) Good night (4353) Bad night (940)
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(817): View more from Texas

All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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(817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv

Replies (9) Good night (3508) Bad night (1080)
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(503): View more from Oregon

we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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(503): we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food. http://tfl.nu/i6sw

Replies (14) Good night (3928) Bad night (1941)
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(360): View more from Washington

last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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(360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl

Replies (8) Good night (2342) Bad night (513)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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(570): The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night. http://tfl.nu/1ay9

Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (489)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

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(403): They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again. http://tfl.nu/2yc4

Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1326)
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(607): View more from New York

I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?

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(607): I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing? http://tfl.nu/ocvg

Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (711)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.

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(248): I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl. http://tfl.nu/rz4s

Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (411)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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(540): I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying... http://tfl.nu/wais

Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (585)
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(707): View more from California

fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night

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(707): fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night http://tfl.nu/7syr

Replies (3) Good night (1178) Bad night (205)

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