he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
