i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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