just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Text me some of your sweat
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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