Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
