Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize