the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize