I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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