you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You made out with two different species that night
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He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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