at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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