Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
