dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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