I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
