Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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