It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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