you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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