He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
