go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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