For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
