Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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