discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
