Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize