Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
