Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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