somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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