So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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