cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
