if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's the barista slut.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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