see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
