12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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