Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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