I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
