Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
