nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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