I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i will never coherently bang her
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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