did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize