JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
