A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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