She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
