I accidentally had phone sex last night
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
