Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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