You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
