I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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