HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
