I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
