He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
