Swine flu. Run for my life!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
