I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
