Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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