Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
