Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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