Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
