3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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