hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
