fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
