do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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