I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My Sexting was not on an AP level
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
