You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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