college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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